Adult children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they are engaged to be married. The planning for the mother of the bride and groom outfits commences once the rush of the engagement news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be matched to the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers synchronizing their outfits has been a custom for several years. Attending other weddings, reading bridal magazines and visiting wedding dress department stores can begin the process. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when beginning the search may also be a good idea.

My son recently was asked to attend as best man in in one of his friend's weddings. The mother of the groom was upset through most of the planning for the wedding day because not all her ideas were chosen. The bride's mother attempted to engage the groom's mother in the shopping process for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked beautiful and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The groom's mother chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different color. Unfortunately, the dress was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most wonderful days she would ever have feeling remorseful and ridiculous.

Several thoughts. When shopping for a mother of the bride or groom suit, make sure to ask the bride if she has anything in particular in mind and if you wish, take her along for fittings and to help pick out what she may want you to wear. She should have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the dress she prefers is unflattering or cost is an issue.

Specialty dress shops have special mother of the bride and groom sections. Keep in mind you don't have to get your gown from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal dresses for certain times of the year and specific occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a gown in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has chosen something unique in a particular store, you may want to seriously consider her choice. If cost is an issue, remind her of that fact and see if you can find something very much the same. If she still insists, then compromise becomes the order of the day. This is the bride and groom's special moment and it involves cooperation and support from the mother of the bride and groom. Once you experience the joy and laughter on this day, every squabble will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

This wedding made me realize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will help them. I will offer assistance if it's requested, hold my counsel if it's not. I will even let them decide on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not disconcert them as their friend was disconcerted. Keeping in mind that this is the bride and groom's day and not mine may be the most valuable lesson to come out of my children wedding day.